Trust

Trust in the LORD and do good;

Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD;

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

Psalm 37:3-5

Today is May 18, the day that I am supposed to have collected $6,200 of financial support. As you can probably tell by the wording of the previous sentence, I have not yet raised that amount. Am I worried? Yes and no. Please let me explain.

About a week ago, I realized that I had raised very little financial support. If you had asked me if I were worried then, I would have said a quick yes and run off to do the 354 things on my to-do list. I was busy studying, planning, writing letters, contacting people, and many other things that were taking up time in my life. I was worried about getting things done right and on time, without remembering the purpose for which I was doing them. As hard as it is for me to do everything myself, I also struggle in not doing things myself. I keep things from God (and others) because I don't trust that He will take care of things. I don't question that He can, but my actions don't reflect that I believe He will. I lost sight of God's mission and replaced it with my own mission: get everything done myself. 

On Saturday, May 15, I had a good conversation with my mom. I started listing off to her all the things I needed to get done and when I needed to get them done by. I was worried. I was tired. I was trying to do everything myself, and so I felt like I was being successful in completing my mission. Of course, in her immense wisdom, my mom reminded me that God desires for us to seek Him first. I needed (and still need) to trust that God will provide the funds for me to be sent, especially if this is His calling for me.

So was I worried before? Yes. Am I worried now? To be honest, a bit, but I'm learning not to be. I am learning to trust God and put everything in His hands. The more I trust Him, the more I am able to delight in His goodness. And believe me, I want to delight myself in the Lord. Please be praying that I continue to grow in my trust in God and that I fully commit my way to Him. I desire to carry out His mission and not my own. I know God can and will provide as He gives me this desire of my heart.

How are you committing your way to the Lord and trusting in Him? Please share!